Two of the most important things for a successful blog are to be a) interesting, and b) regular. Suffice to say that those qualities have been more apparent in my bowel movements than in Grogger.

Being interesting and regular are both qualities that can be applied to Aegir Hallmundur’s beautifully designed blog The Ministry of Type. And today he Groggered about Siquis’ annual gift to their clients – a bottle of wine with a custom-designed label. Reading more about the wine on the For Print Only blog unearthed more info on the ‘half-full or half-empty?’ inspired label designed by Greg Bennett. Avenir, die-cut, letterpress, zinfandel and a dedication to Bezier curves – I almost have a semi. Half-full indeed.

Providing a steady stream of design inspiration (read: stuff to copy), knitted crap, bike-porn and, well, porn-porn, Ffffound! and Dropular are Grogger’s preferred way of wasting time at work waiting for wine o’clock (when the big hand points to twelve and the little hand points to the gaping gulf in our soul).

This image of a man smashing a bottle of red wine over his head is pretty typical of the arty conceptual photography that you find on these invite-only cooler-than-thou sites.

After a brief thought of ‘ouch’, then ‘you dick’, our Groggery eyes spied the label. That’s a bottle of Viu Manent Secreto Syrah! Which is impressive because a) that’s a fifteen-quid bottle of wine you’ve wasted, and b) like a lot of Chilean wines it’s a fucking thick heavy bastard bottle.

The distinctive illustrated characters on the labels gave it away. Like little Picasso cartoon characters, they reflect the bright, individual wines inside and make a welcome change from pictures of the Andes.

Last night I was lucky enough to spend a delightful evening in Bedales in Borough Market where they sell a range of Secreto wines including a rich, plummy malbec for £15 which, with £8 corkage on top, was much better value then anything on the menu. With the colder nights drawing in, it was the perfect wine to bring a glow to your cheeks and smile to your purple-stained lips.

Rather lovely and very simple gold-on-black lion motif for Leu Wines with an ascending order of lion age depending on the pedigree of the wine.

Designed by German agency Die Medienagenten who have a few other wine-related projects on their website.

Answering Design Week’s Voxpop question “Which world record would you like to break?”, Ron Cregan of Navyblue Design manages to dispel his boozy fug long enough to envisage a record attempt that involves, well, drinking with his friends and family. Sir, we salute you. And should you need assistance in your endeavour, the Grogger team will be more than willing.

Famous Austrian exports: Mozart, Arnold Schwarzenegger, singing families in matching paisley outfits, Brüno and Hitler. Not so famous Austrian exports: Grüner Veltliner. Which is a bloody shame, because if ever there was a food-friendly, not-too-alcoholic summer refresher to show Pinot Grigio how it should be done, then Grüner Veltliner (or ‘Groovey’ as it is sometimes known, but only by wine-tits) is it.

Filling the gap between acidic Sauvignon Blanc and minerally riesling, Grüner is a bright, silvery wine of etherial clarity and refreshing zest – think alpine streams and edelweiss in a glass. Thankfully Grüner Veltliner is receiving more attention and praise in the press and decent examples can be found in more and more wine merchants from £8 to £12.

OddBins, after its lapse in mediocrity under the Castel group, is now back in independent hands and once more championing interesting, fun wines for reasonable prices. However, the Grüner Veltliner we tasted has been part of their line up for many years. Produced by Salomon, this ‘Groovey’ is a very reasonable £7.49 – what is not reasonable is their Austian attempt at punnery.

Design: German and Austrian wines tend towards the austere in both looks and (ignoring mass produced Blue Nun-types) taste. Tall, elegant bottles and labels with hints of  gothic script and teutonic symbols are the norm, sometimes pared down to a simple name and logo as per the Weinreider label pictured below.

The Sal’mon Groovey label, however, presents us with a pink salmon sporting the kind of sunglasses that one associates with either Liam Gallagher or the 19th-century blind. We are then informed he is ‘Joe Cool’ (sunglasses=cool, natch) and he is NOT a salmon, which is a relief because he definitely looks more like a tu… wait, no he’s not a tuna either. Anyway, it doesn’t especially matter what kind of fish he represents as the wine will go with ‘most fine seafood, but not with eel.’

Now this seems a bit harsh to the humble eel to, in just seven words, promote it to the giddy heights of ‘fine seafood’ and then immediately exclude it from the platter. Why go out of your way to publicly humiliate your piscine brethren of the front of the bottle of wine you are trying to sell? Meanies.

I know all this not because I can read Austrian (if that were the case then I would forward the review onto the Grögger team in Salzburg) but because much of the label is in english and therefore I can only presume the intention of the fish is to tickle my British funny bone. Salomon sounds like salmon, Gruner Veltliner is called ‘Groovey’ – I get it. Pinot Gris sounds like grey penis but (thankfully) no-ones used that as their brand identity.

Design: 2 out of 5 stars

Wine: The colour is of this wine is so clear, only the meerest flash of silvery-green identifies it as something other than water. The nose is delicate but bright and clean, with just the faintest zip of underripe pear. The flavour is precise and very, very refreshing. The taste of more tropical fruit that one might expect from a Sauvignon Blanc or Gewürztraminer are very much in the background, whereas restrained flavours of courgette, granny smith apples and even grass are to the fore. And to finish there’s a spicy, pepperiness that, combined with the vegetal aromas, is like tasting rocket leaves.

I can find no fault with this wine other than its utter perfection as a crisp, clean thirst-quencher. For once your thirst has been slaked, your appetite whetted and your fine seafood sampled, then this wine’s job is done, but done exceedingly well.

Wine: 4 out of 5 stars

A great summer wine for warm weather and light lunches. If you like this, try the Weinrieder Grüner Veltliner from Waterloo Wine Co.

But there is only one Joe Cool, and he’s not a fish.

Price: £7.49
Suppliers: OddBins, stores across the UK

Groggers: E.W. and S.C.

As those of you who have bought the Legandary Cars expansion pack for Burnout Paradise will now, there are only four automobiles worthy of rendering in glorious HD: Knightrider’s Kit, the Ghostmobile, the Hazzardous Dodge Charger and the sleek, industrial, that’sthebloodyfuturerighttherethatis DeLorean.

So, how does this relate to wine? Well, after one last trip with Marty to witness the ancient Inca civilisations, let’s say ol’ Doc Brown has had enough of his Flux-Capacitor and decides to install a little drinks cabinet into his central armresty-bit. What what booze could posibly match the glorious, metal’n'wire aesthetics of the DeLorean?

Like some brash early-90s PC game that attempts to link Aztec mythology with time-travel and shooting shit, may I present All In One wines from Winery Estate Dragomir (Bulgarian, in case you’re wondering).

I mean that’s seriously cool, really really slick. Silver and gold pattina? Check. Aztec-circuitboard pattern? Check. Futuristic linear typeface? Check. I like it, I like it a lot – the attention to detail and high-quality sheen is apparent.

But McFlyyyyyyyyyyyy!? Where’s the soul?  Is this chardonnay going to be as metallic and linear as the design? All this label makes me think of is licking batteries.

Granted, if this landed in Bulgaria leaving two burning strips of earth in its wake, it’d be mistaken for a UFO. But as a bottle of wine on the Grogger table, I’m afraid it’s back to the pewter.

Having already complimented one Italian wine producer on their simple, bold labels, we now have the pleasure of complimenting another on their excellent choice of typeface. The Roccafiore resort in Italy produces its own range of wines and olive oil, and has branded them all in the same understated modern style using plain tones, a dash of red and that most beautiful of serif typefaces, Bodoni.

So fat yet so thin. So old yet so new. So classic yet so modern. Bodoni can fill so many roles, but must certainly be at its best when used simply, elegantly and with assured modernity.

Coupled with some clean photography that alludes to the aromas and flavours of the wines, and you have a very chic wine brand indeed. Oh, and with those non-lining figures, you really are teasing us…

Seen via Lovely Package.

A rather lovely silhouette pierced-metal effect tree illustration done by London based Illustrator Claire Scully for Asda Wine. Check out more of her work at The Quiet Revolution.

Über-cool illustrator Von has turned his skills to providing an illustration for a new french wine brand:

Design Bridge, in collaboration with illustrator Von, has created the identity for Deesse, a new red wine produced by client Domaines Sacha Lichine under its Chateau D’Esclans label.

Pretty cool, especially compared to the rest of the Chateau D’Esclans range of wines. Love to get our hands on a bottle.

Whilst searching for an image to illustrate the previous post, we stumbled upon these adverts for Hochriegl sparkling wine. Perhaps the Google bot is a tad boorish to equate Wine + Woman = Boobs, but we can’t resist a good visual pun. There’s a male tux version too, but somehow that isn’t ranked so highly…